MY BOOK IS LOCKED IN A CLASSROOMN
RED ASLERT
I TOLD THIS REALLY NICE KID WHO NEVER CAUSES TROUBLE AND HEREACHED INTO HIS BACKPACK AND PULLED OUT A KEYCHAIN WITH KEYS TO THE CLASSROOM AND UNLOCKED IT FOR ME??
update i asked him why he had those keys and he said “its not important” im so lost
He’ll be vital to your quest later, don’t forget about him.
(Source: hollycornish)
for some reason i thought both of these were the same post and i sat for awhile trying to figure out which ice cream face was the weak bitch
jimmypullsupinhisbluechevynovak:
whY
“Hello Dean”
please stop
what if…
oh god this post is getting out of control
oh god he looks like ET
i’m actually really sorry
Jesus Christ
ok this post really needs to stop please thank you
This will never not be funny
(Source: donnapspecter)
| *Man walks into a store and finds employee* | |
| Man: | Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?! |
| Employee: | Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application? |
| Man: | I never filled out an application. |
| Employee: | Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application. |
| Man: | No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add! |
| Employee: | Well, but that doesn't- |
| Man: | AND I even told you that I didn't have a job! |
| Employee: | But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring. |
| Man: | OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane! |
| Employee: | Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience? |
| Man: | Well no, but what does that matter? |
| Employee: | ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience. |
| Man: | Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you. |
| Employee: | That...doesn't make any sense. |
| Man: | NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy. |
| Employee: | |
| Man: | |
| Employee: | |
| Man: | Fuck you, slut. |
Someone just said “please play gossip at Brixton.” Are you on crack cocaine? How about noooooooooooooo? Are you mental? Everything about that song makes me hate music.
(Source: mygiftismycurse)
Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “well done Draco.”
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD I SWEAR
(Source: tonymystark)
I can’t believe the soda company from Hey Arnold bought Tumblr
“Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?”
(Source: ermahgerd-sherlerk)
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
